Motivational Interviewing
When Part of You Wants Change and Part of You Doesn’t
Have you ever felt stuck between wanting to change and not being ready to change?
Maybe you know a behaviour isn’t serving you anymore—whether it’s staying in a relationship, setting boundaries, changing habits, or seeking help—but something keeps holding you back. You might feel frustrated with yourself, confused, or even ashamed for not “just doing it”.
This inner tug-of-war is more common than you think.
Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a therapeutic approach designed specifically for moments like this—when change feels important, but not straightforward.
What Is Motivational Interviewing?
Motivational Interviewing is a collaborative, evidence-based approach that helps people explore and resolve ambivalence about change.
Rather than telling you what you should do, MI works by:
understanding both sides of your internal conflict
strengthening your own reasons for change
respecting your autonomy and readiness
reducing shame, pressure, and resistance
The underlying belief is simple but powerful: Lasting change happens when motivation comes from within—not when it’s imposed from outside.
Why Feeling “Unmotivated” Is Often Misunderstood
Many people describe themselves as “unmotivated” when they’re actually:
scared of change
uncertain about the costs of change
emotionally attached to what feels familiar
worried about failing
unsure who they’d be on the other side of change
Motivational Interviewing recognises that hesitation isn’t laziness or lack of willpower—it’s information.
MI creates space to listen to that information with curiosity rather than judgement.
How Motivational Interviewing Works in Therapy
Motivational Interviewing is conversational, respectful, and client-led.
In sessions, a therapist may:
explore what you value and care about most
gently reflect back patterns in your thinking
help you articulate your own reasons for change
notice moments where “change talk” naturally emerges
support you to move at a pace that feels safe
There is no pressure to commit to change before you’re ready. In fact, pushing too early often increases resistance. MI works with your readiness—not against it.
What Motivational Interviewing Is (and Isn’t)
Motivational Interviewing is:
collaborative, not confrontational
compassionate, not coercive
curious, not directive
respectful of autonomy
Motivational Interviewing is not:
being told what to do
being lectured or convinced
“pep talks” or forced positivity
ignoring the reasons change feels hard
This makes it especially helpful for people who have felt judged, pressured, or misunderstood in the past.
Who Is Motivational Interviewing Helpful For?
Motivational Interviewing can be particularly useful if you:
feel stuck or conflicted about making changes
want something different but feel unsure how to begin
struggle with avoidance, procrastination, or self-doubt
feel resistant to being told what to do
want change to feel aligned with your values
It is commonly used in areas such as:
anxiety and depression
health-related behaviour change
substance use or habit change
relationship decisions
therapy engagement and readiness
MI is often integrated with other therapies (such as Schema Therapy or CBT) once clarity and motivation are established.
Motivational Interviewing and Self-Compassion
One of the most powerful aspects of Motivational Interviewing is that it reduces shame.
Instead of framing ambivalence as failure, MI treats it as a normal human experience. When people feel understood rather than judged, they are far more likely to move toward meaningful change.
Change doesn’t start with pressure—it starts with safety.
Motivational Interviewing at The Psychology Alley
At The Psychology Alley, Motivational Interviewing is used to support clients who feel:
unsure whether they’re ready for therapy
conflicted about difficult decisions
stuck between logic and emotion
exhausted by self-criticism
Therapy is approached as a collaborative process—where your pace, values, and lived experience matter. There is no “right” level of motivation you need to have before starting.
Is Motivational Interviewing Right for You?
Motivational Interviewing may be a good fit if:
you feel ambivalent about change
you want clarity rather than pressure
you’re tired of being hard on yourself
you want change to feel authentic and sustainable
You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin. Sometimes, therapy is the place where motivation slowly takes shape.
Thinking About Starting Therapy?
If you’re feeling stuck, conflicted, or unsure what your next step should be, you’re not alone—and you don’t need to force clarity before reaching out.
Motivational Interviewing offers a gentle, respectful way to explore change—one conversation at a time.